So you're on a date with someone new or someone old, and its going really well. He's been showing his interest, he's been a perfect gentleman, he's laughed at your jokes, he's gazed into your eyes, he's worked the magic. And when he walks you to your door and plants that perfect kiss on your lips, you just don't know what to do with yourself. And in a breathy voice, perhaps just a bit above a whisper, you ask him if he'd like to come upstairs. HALT!!!!

Here is what I suggest you do instead:

Never invite a guy back to your place. Try to go to his instead (assuming you've been dating him a while and know that he's not a serial killer).

The reasons:

1. If he goes to your place, he might decide to hang around the next morning, even when you are trying your hardest to get rid of him.

2. If he goes to your place and he wants to take off, he can take off in the middle of the night and your left feeling used. But if you go to his place, you can stay until you're ready to leave.

3. When you're at his place, you can learn a lot about who he is by his decor and other items around his place. For example, you can verify that he doesn't live with his mother, and that he is indeed single.

And when should you go back to someone's place?

There are various answers to this. In fact, most people have their own rubric to determine this. Me? I use a sliding scale. If we're exclusively dating, I have no problem taking the plunge. Additionally, if I am just in need of some attention and my date seems to be that guy who should give it to me, then I'll go for it as well. When do you take someone upstairs? And how far do you go the first time?